Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Training for Tuesday: Thank You for Joining Us

Hi friends. As you may have noticed, there is no Training for Tuesday post here or at my cohost Tracy's place today. You may have also noticed that Tracy carried the linkup last month and that both of our blogs have been much quieter in general lately than usual.

You may be expecting this, you may not. But Tracy and I have been talking about it for a few months and have decided that we're ready to put this linkup to rest. After a year and a half of talking training, wins, woes, goals, hurdles, and all that good stuff with you guys, we've decided this linkup was great while it lasted and it's time to set it free.

Thank you to all those of you who've ever linked up with us to share your stories, whether you came to join us once or every month since we started. We loved reading your posts and will both continue to post about our fitness/training/goal-chasing journeys on our blogs, and we hope you will too.

We'll catch you around. Thanks for everything.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Impeccable Words

You like your things perfect, impeccable—or so I’ve heard you say. Things like your shirt collar, your ankle cuff, my hair. There’s no margin for error when you balance the world just above your palm, an inch out of reach yet always just there. Everything you want hovers a breath beyond your fingertips, and on days like this I’m added to that list.

Or, “perfect me” is added to that list. The one with loose strands and loose lips nestles nicely into your outstretched hand, but the one you reach for, the one who’s impeccable just like you like is just out of range. Just beyond a sputtered apology and half-drunk excuse and bashful never mind. Just beyond the space between your past and your now, your then and your this.

Because impeccable me is something you’ve imagined, and impeccable words are something I can’t speak. My aims for impeccable words sound like “I’m sorry” and “I love you” and “Forgive me” and “Kiss me.” Hear my impeccable words tell you I’m yours and ignore them because my tone has never been quite pitch perfect.

There was a day when I could have been perfect and oh, you should have seen me then. It was a lifetime and a lashing ago and you would have loved me for real, then. I had barely learned to speak, let alone how to use my imperfect words to make you bleed. I had barely learned to walk, let alone how to turn on my heel. I had barely learned to love, let alone how to suffer. Oh, you should have seen me then.

Attempts at impeccable words coming out of me sound too much like “I’m hurt and I hate you” and “I’m sad and I need you;” how could I not know they’ll never be perfect for you? So tell me then, be the one who knows everything: to fail at your expectation or waste away in silence as you unravel mine?

This much is real and imperfect and raw: each word I make for you is as true as a moment can be, often truer than the last but not as true as the next. You shift and I fall and I change my mind and the words come out differently when you crane your neck to listen than when you shrug your shoulders to dismiss. But I try, because I’d rather aim for impeccable and fail in great fashion than tie up my tongue so that you alone can feel perfect.


More like this in my book of words that were better left unsaid, Things I Would Say

Sunday Sweats 78

June 20–26

Friday, June 24, 2016

Five Things

This Monday was the fourteenth annual Solstice Times Square event. For the second year in a row, I went with Michael and we participated in the 90-minute Bikram method session, right under the sun. There's something indescribable about practicing a solitary technique in the middle of the busiest intersection of the world, simultaneously turning toward yourself and drawing in and sharing the vibrations of so much energy. Sharing a practice with hundreds of strangers and knowing you're a part of something so big on the longest day of the year... it's just pretty damn cool, and once again I'm overcome with gratitude to live where I do with the access I have to such a prominent part of the world.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Just Let it Go

Two weeks ago, I applied for a job that felt like it was made for me. Last week, I interviewed for that job and learned more about it, and became even more confident in my ability to do the job and in the job to be a good professional fit for me. I chatted with HR for 45 minutes, connected on professional and personal levels, and walked away excited about the possibility.

Last week they asked me to proceed with the next steps. I carefully wrote my story pitches and sent them in days early. I modeled my story concepts after the site's existing content but made sure to be original, creative, and authentic.

This week, I learned that I didn't get the job, and that was the end of that.