so now that i've built this up so much, go on and read my indieink challenge from week 7! you can see the challenge prompt the lovely and talented trish gave me after the break at the end of the post. and don't forget to see how dili took up my prompt this week!
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another sip please just one more just one more just a little taste just to feel it i don't need much more just enough to feel it on my tongue to taste it on my tongue i swear just a little more just a little more.
another little bit is all i need to make the rest disappear to make the pain go away to make it stop to stop hurting for it to all be good again to make the darkness disappear to make it good again just a little bit and everything will be better things will be right if you let me have just a little taste.
just another sip another swallow another dance on my tongue and all the badness will be gone i want it gone make it go away another sip another taste another feeling just let it touch it and then i will be fine i swear i will be fine if you give me just another little bit so small just a little.
another sip and i will drown that's what i want it will be good i will drown just the smallest taste and i'll be drowning that's where i want to be i want to surrender i surrender white flag i surrender for just a little more a little bit a little taste that's all i need that's all let me drown.
the bad stuff will all be gone and i'll drown i'll drown my sorrows because i'm drowning in the taste the good taste the sweet bitter musky salty taste in waves over my tongue over and over and just let me taste and drown.
give me a taste and you can taste too i just need a little more more more my taste for yours i'll trade just a little more i'm still not done i'm not done yet i need another sip another dance across my tongue my tongue to dance across the flavor and then you can taste but first i need another sip just one more.
dance across the flavor dance across the salt the sweet the sting the sweet sting on my tongue it tastes so good and i'll drown and that's where i want to be drowning i'll drown for the taste and drowning tastes so good when it's that bitter taste and let me breathe it in so i can drown in it.
deep breaths in i smell it i can taste it if i smell it and it smells so good so i can taste it and it will be good if you let me breathe it in i can drown in it and that's where i want to be i want to drown so i can't feel anything else i can only taste the taste i need just another sip so i can feel it on my tongue.
i feel it on my tongue smooth and sweet and salty and bitter and i'm drowning and the rest is gone i'm breathing it in it fills my lungs and the badness is gone because i'm drowning in the taste i can taste it i can taste you you taste so good i'll never need anything but the taste i drown in your sweet salt bitter musk sweet sting i'm drowning and i'm happy.
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prompt: write a story that revolves around the cliche "drown your sorrows."
18 comments:
Nice Post Alyssa.. You have Done Justice to your prompt really well.. Congrats!! =)
whoosh alyssa, i'll save you, i'll be right over! xoxo
are you really reading fear of flying right now????
I love this. You captured it so well. Very well done.
I SO love this! The urgency, bartering, begging, needing, the relief being sought regardless of logic, pushed by need. Fantastic job on this challenge!
You definitely captured desperation, which I think is absolutely key to your prompt. As always, you inspire me.
thank you all, so so much. definitely needed the feedback on this one. wasn't sure how i felt about it, but i'm tickled you all don't think it totally sucks. XO
and marian, yes and no - technically, i'm "in the middle of it" but i haven't been able to read much this semester because of all my lit courses. i'll probably pick it back up from where it's been patiently waiting for three months this afternoon after i finish my finals
Um, no, it doesn't suck. That's an understatement. Great job, as always!
Well done!
Holy cow, lady. This rocks. You rock. I love this.
maren, debra, mandy - thanks so much! :)
Wow I love this, amazing job.. its a perfect capture of desperation and wanting :) WIN! :D
thanks for the comment dili! glad you liked it! :D
Fabulocious work!
That ... was/is a pleasure to read. ;-)
thank you stefan :)
Wow! Great story. Thanks for stopping by.
A - you are a very good writer. I'm always surprised at how quickly I get hooked on your words and how easy it is to run with your stories. Definitely a pleasure to read!
thank you so much karla, that's so sweet of you to say! :)
& stefan - i did post a thank you comment to you the other day but i guess it got swallowed up in the blogger fiasco.. so thank you again :)
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