he would kiss me with such purpose, such need, such love. he wasn't always by my side, thanks a lot college. but when i had him here, to myself, or when i was there, navigating his new life with him, it was truly perfect. it was love, the purest love, the innocent love of two kids with nothing to prove. we learned from and taught each other. we grew up with each other, grew into our lives with each other, discovered so much. we played like children, planned like adults, loved like animals, fought like professionals. our hands folded into each other like puzzle pieces, i fit into the space between his arms as if they were made for me. we explored every end of the earth and each other together, needing nothing other than what we had.
they were the funniest, the craziest, the best. my friends made me laugh and challenged me daily. we all had secrets from and with each other. we had lives revolved around and dependent upon one another. we were a family. we fought like one and loved like one. it was freedom from everything we didn't want to be, and permission to act however we wanted. it was the most fun you could imagine. we did everything we weren't supposed to and never got caught. we acted like idiots and grew into grown-ups on the same day. we ate, we drank, we danced, we laughed until we ached. we cried with each other, over each other, to each other. we completed each other.
i had no worries. no complaints. i knew everything would work out because it had to. i had family and friends to support me, i made enough money to cover the measly expenses i had, i got straight As without trying. there were no questions about the future, only hopes. there was no way anything coming to me would be anything less than the greatness i deserved, earned, wanted. no chaos, no decisions, no turmoil, no fear.
when i was 17... it was a very good year.