shameless: fail

another day, another shameless deed. [sidebar: somehow i've found my zone again, against all the odds, and am kicking writer's block's ass these days. loving it. due in large part to my need to get paid for my articles, and also wanting to stick with this challenge on this here blog. it's also probably because i'm feeling more optimistic lately, knowing that a few weeks from now things will be so. much. better. but i digress..] the next task on my 30 days of shamelessness list?

4. waste time.

i wish i could say this was an easy one for me to do, and i kind of feel like an asshole for saying it isn't. if you've been keeping up, you know that my living situation currently... well, sucks. (some explanation here.) i can't exactly lounge around and watch tv, lest someone attack me for being lazy and a slacker. sue me for wanting to enjoy downtime while i have it, amirite? this house isn't an environment for wasting time, and when i do have time to spare, i try to use it productively. reading a book (which is rare these days, unfortunately) or writing never feels to me like wasting time - i'm boosting brainpower and adding to my samples/portfolio, thus, productive, no? lately, if i've been "home" (it's a stretch to call it that), i've been locked up in my room working on articles (which is not an easy thing to do in a house that can't stay peaceful for more than five minutes at a time), sending out emails in the search of more freelance work, reading and researching, or i've been getting ready to leave. leaving is the key to living here, it seems. errands appear out of nowhere that i absolutely must. do. in reality, i make up things that i don't actually have to do just so i can get out of the house. anyone need anything from target? i'm averaging five trips a week currently, and my wallet is shuddering. but i always come upon something during one of these trips that i obviously need (and actually did mean to get, it just wasn't an urgent purchase until i saw it in front of me) so i can't call it wasting time, really. wasting money, sure. but even yesterday, after my cupcake date, i tried to waste some time out of the house by sitting in starbucks with my computer. time-wasting fail there, too - i actually got three articles written! i guess the best example of me wasting time these days is by pretending that i'm actually going to stay living here, while i count down the days until my escape. does that count?


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addendum i did it! i successfully wasted about two hours yesterday. when everyone temporarily retreated to their respective zones of the house after dinner, i popped in a movie and watched the whole thing! of course it took me about twice the time it should have because my dad got tired of whatever he was doing and saw it as the perfect time to ask me if i wanted to make sauce this weekend, how do you know if it's the jeopardy! teen edition, if i need a dollar, where my brother was, if i smelled a skunk, why i didn't have 47 lights on, if i need to go clothes shopping, if he could finish the cucumber-tomato salad i made yesterday, and who every single actor was. oh and he sat down to watch with me right before the lesbian sex scene came on. yay, loving at home!