Wednesday, October 26, 2011
an open letter to my favorite source of open letters
dear thought catalog,
this conversation is a long time coming. before i go any further, i just want you to know - this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. i can say that with 100% certainty. that doesn't make it any easier for me to say these things to you. believe me, i wish i didn't have to. but we've reached a crossroads and now, unfortunately, i have no other choice.
what a whirlwind romance we've had. you had me at hello. you swept me off of my feet and in a moment, i was yours. immediately, i didn't understand how i had ever lived without you. you were my saving grace, my green light, my hero.
i think we need to spend some time apart. don't get me wrong. i love you to the end of the earth and back. you bring me constant joy and happiness. you make me think. you force me to reflect on things and face truths about myself i otherwise wouldn't have the strength to. you make me laugh. you calm me down when i'm feeling stressed. you say exactly what i'm thinking. you slap me in the face with realities i'm afraid to, but must, face - in a loving way. you have all these insights into my soul, and i can't help but wonder if you have a cheat sheet on my mind. you just get me, tc. you always know the right thing to say, and you're there for me whenever i need you, without fail. all this, and you ask for nothing in return from me. you are, truly, perfect.
but i think it's time for us to start seeing other people, and spending a little less time together. i wish it didn't have to be this way, but i can't keep neglecting the rest of my life for you. i have a job, you know. and i have deadlines to meet. i have writing to do that has to take place on my computer, which also happens to be where you live. believe me, it will be so hard to be in your neighborhood and not wonder what you're doing, or what you're saying, or if you're thinking of me. but i have to be strong. we have to be strong.
from now on, you have to promise to keep your temptations to yourself. at least until i'm finished with keeping the rest of my life together. i promise to still make some time for you every night, but it simply can't be as much time as we used to spend together.
these words are coming from a place of love. you did nothing wrong. it's me, i swear. people usually lie when they say "it's not you, it's me," but i'm telling you the truth. you are perfect, and in fact, too good for me. i can't handle all your goodness in a mature, healthy way. so this is what we have to do.