All the Ways I'm Losing It

Is anyone worth their blog not a part of this linkup? Humpday Confessions needs no introduction.

Warning: Insane jumbles of words ahead. A truckload of them.


I've been so... something, I'm not sure what, lately, that I've resorted to using a timer to keep me doing just one thing at a time, rather than jumping all around my apartment/my office/the Internet doing 100 different things at once and finishing none of them. No lie, it's bad. I've caught myself in the middle of reading one blog, commenting on another, with half a tweet composed, with my blog's analytics page open, while holding a half-filled Brita pitcher in one hand, with moisturizer dotted on my face waiting to be rubbed in, while I have my online banking open, and my tea kettle screaming in the kitchen. I swear, I am exaggerating none percent.

So I'm actually setting timers for myself in 5-12 minute increments to make sure when I'm stretching, I'm not popping up because I just remembered I wanted to get the dishes done or pick up Oliver.

As I was typing this I remembered that I walked into the kitchen FOUR TIMES in the last half hour and didn't take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost, which was my actual intention each and every time I went in there to begin with.

I'm scaring myself by writing this all out, so I just googled ginko biloba supplements.

I'm probably going to talk about this at length with my chiropractor tonight because he just gets me in a way I thought only hairdressers and bartenders could.

I still haven't taken the chicken out of the freezer.

I don't hide my blog from anyone "in real life," but I also don't really expect anyone to care, so I don't exactly tell anyone either. {I say this as if I don't use my personal Instagram and Twitter accounts to promote posts, heh.} However over the last week a handful of people {HI NON-INTERNET FRIENDS} have told me they're readers of this ol' spot. I've been in a cold sweat ever since.

Just kidding. Mostly.

I'm pretty sure my officemate and I have inadvertently classically conditioned each other by saying "bless you" after each and every sneeze, because now even when I'm alone I find myself automatically saying "thank you" every time I sneeze, even though no one has blessed me. I probably should have kept this to myself.

I was absolutely scared shitless to post my confessions last Wednesday and the post you saw on Tuesday because talking money, and my personal views on money, on the Internet is more frightening to me than accidentally swearing in front of my grandmother. But you guys received it so well — and a bunch of you even asked me to elaborate, yay! — so I felt much better after the fact. Thanks, Internet friends!

That said, I'm also scared shitless/really eager for tomorrow's post.


And that's gonna bring it on home for us today. What do you have to confess this week?

Vodka and Soda
Linking up with Kathy & the rest of those beautiful little sinners.


  1. omg when people find out about my blog, i want to shrivel up and die. if you read it, fine; just don't tell me that you do and if you try to talk to me about it, i'll tell you to STFU because i don't want to talk about it. even my husband who will sometimes mention something i wrote, i'll straight up tell him DON'T READ MY SHIT!!

    thanks for linking up!

    Vodka and Soda

  2. I'm interested in this whole setting a timer thing. I need to do something like that, because I'm scared I've developed adult ADD.

    Nothing scares me more than when someone I know IRL tells me they read my blog. I automatically feel like I can't write whatever comes to mind because someone I actually know is going to read it, so I understand, I really do!

  3. yay excited about tomorrows post! none of my real life people know about my blog and i am so glad. it would be even more boring than it is now.
    hahaha @ exaggerating none percent. i am very forgetful (did you get chicken out of the freezer?) and i normally have a few things going but not as many as you listed haha.
    i say 'bless me' when no one is around. my husband never says bless you (because he hates the whole thing) so he says 'love you' because i used to beg him to say bless you, even though i dont actually think i am being blessed or anything, lol. so he compromised with 'love you' which kinda sounds like bless you only not.

  4. I have the same forgetfulness problem! I like to be blessed after each & every sneeze fit. They come in 3s so I don't expect 3 bless you's but at least 1 at the end.

    I was out the other night & one of my friends said something about something I posted on my blog. I was so awkward I just wanted the conversation to be over haha. I was like ha ha heemmm yeah ha ha... uhm… oh shit she reads it… Oh God… It's okay. It's okay. Blogkward moment. I mean I obviously promote it on my intsa & twitter too, but I just assumed people ignored it. Evidentially not haha

  5. I am scared shitless of people finding out so I have a separate twitter and even pinterest. Its dumb I know but its more the work thing than anything else. Judgy judgy lawyer people. haha Anyway my brain does that too sometimes. I swear I put reminders in my phone all day. reminder to move nail polish, reminder to drink water, reminder that I have a meeting, reminder to put something in my bag ... its nuts

  6. Hey Alyssa! Aww you said thank you to yourself! lol! Thats ok, lol And I have to check out those posts you linked up! :)


  7. I hide my blog to the best of my abilities but a few lurkers have found it.

  8. I definitely panic when real life people tell me they have seen my blog. Nooooo!!

  9. GAH a few of my friends in real life now read my blog on the reg and I'm not too sure how I feel about that...not too sure I like my hubs knowing about it too since I have to leave out SO much comical material regarding one of his sisters who is just a hot mess to the core. I mostly feel bad for my blogger audience for missing out on so much...

  10. I can't relate to that first part so so so well. Seriously, you just described my life. I might have to try your timer thing because its a real problem. Like right now, I have some half typed dictation on my computer, two blogs open on my phone, a half eaten grape on my desk (who even eats half a grape?) and I'm thinking about how I need to make a phone call.

  11. I used to promote my blog on my personal FB and then after a friend of a friend of a friend (or something like that) who I kinda used to work with told me he read and thought it was hilarious, I was like, WOAH, work people read my shit? I need to do a better job of potentially (but not really) having a filter.

    The problem now is that since idk who is reading, I feel like I sometimes can't say all the things. Booooo.

    also. SQUIRREL!

  12. I'm right there with ya girl. I don't keep my blog a secret but don't exactly advertise it to real life ppl either so when someone I know really well says they loved my recent post I slightly freak out and wonder what exactly did I reveal haha


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