The Girl Who Hollywood Failed

We all have quirks. Habits. Those special little personality traits that set us apart. Things that kind of become identifiers of sorts.

For some people its their job, or how you know them, or the car they drive.

I've come to realize that over the years, depending on who's describing me and where I was in life at the time, there have been a few stand-outs for me.
"The girl with all the tattoos."
"That annoying girl."
"Anthony's sister."
But I think a really important one, that remains true day in and day out, would be:
"The girl who has never seen like any important movies. Ever."
It's become something so built into my personality, and so important to some people — usually the ones who like to threaten to tie me to a chair until I've watched all the movies on their list of Very Important Films — that I've kind of lost interest in making any efforts to remedy my sore lack of film consumption over the years.
I think this is actually a pretty important part of my personality.
It's the reason I often respond to people's ever-so-witty and uber-timely cultural references or quotes of dialogue with blank, expectant stares.
It's the reason I often respond to "Have you seen it?" with "No, but I've read the book.*"
{*Not snobbery. I'm just a dork who always loved to read. Even when it got me in trouble. We'll get into that another day.}
So I feel like, in an effort to be my True and Honest Self here on the blog, it's important for me to share here some of the titles I've never seen. My reciting of this list is usually met with others' horrified looks of shock. Actually, it's more often met with "WHAT??? OH MY GOD DID YOU NOT HAVE A CHILDHOOD OR SOMETHING? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???????"
Film buffs, or actually just normal people in general, buckle up. I'm not trying to hurt you, I promise.
1. Home Alone
2. ET
3. Star Wars — any, at all
4. Lord of the Rings — see above
5. The Godfather — This actually became untrue in summer 2012, when my father and brother basically glued me to the sofa and made me watch the film. (Understandable, because ever since I was a child my family has owned every box set or special edition of this series to come out on VHS, DVD, or Blu Ray — which makes it even more egregious that I'd never seen it before. The movie poster was on our basement wall when I was growing up.) But, I'm leaving it here because I basically don't remember anything about the movie except for "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
6. The Princess Bride 
7. Gremlins — I really didn't think this one was such a big deal. But apparently I was wrong
8. Any Batman that came before Christopher Nolan's trilogy
9. Actually, basically any other superhero movie at all except for the first Iron Man and I don't even remember a thing about it now, so it barely counts
10. A Christmas Story — YES I KNOW IT RUNS FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT AT CHRISTMAS
11. Gone with the Wind — Notable, seeing as it's my mother's all-time favorite movie
12. Casablanca — Notable, seeing as it's my father's all-time favorite movie
13. Citizen Kane — Even though I actually took a film class in college (LOL I know right?) and this was required viewing. Related: this wasn't my best class
14. Psycho — See 13
15. The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins — I think they deserve to be grouped together. No, I don't hate Julie Andrews. I saw The Princess Diaries
16. It's a Wonderful Life — A big deal too, apparently?
17. Basically any important/notable horror movie. Yes, even that one. Yep, that one too.
18. Saving Private Ryan
19. Pulp Fiction
20. Basically any mob-type/gangster movie ever, including Goodfellas, Scarface, et al.
I could go on, but I this is usually the part of the game where people start making threats {see above} and I stop talking out of fear.
I swear, this is not because of some elitist attitude toward film or pop culture or anything like that. Really. My favorite movies {all on the same tier} are The Wizard of Oz, Pretty Woman, Grease {no, I've never seen Grease 2}, Dirty Dancing and Breakfast at Tiffany's. {Tier #2 features Say Anything... and Heathers.} Clearly, I just make weird life choices.

What's your favorite movie? Maybe I've seen it...

UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to add these two films to this list, because people definitely have a lot to say about my missing out on them.
21. Any Indiana Jones movie ever
22. Any James Bond movie ever

{Thanks to Dani for pointing out my egregious omission! ;)}

Comments

  1. There are a few on your list that I've avoided as well. And pretty much any non kid related movie in the last 5 years. I'm just not a movie person unless it's stupid or was made my John Hughes in the 80s angst style. Except Gone With the Wind...I love that one! Keep doing you girl, judges gonna judge.

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  2. fabulous list! i think I saw Home Alone once when I was a kid, but my husband and bestie are always quoting it and I just stand there like-nope. and they want me to watch it, and im like... nope. lol.
    never seen ET, unfortunately have seen star wars, loved LOTR but the books are better (duh), never seen the godfather, I adore the princess bride, gremlins gave me nightmares when i was a kid (no one ever believes me - but they're so cute! no they are not) and i havent seen it since. seen all the batmans, wouldnt mind 'unseeing' them. haha. i have never seen a christmas story, but i'm aussie, so i blame that as it doesnt run for 24 hours straight at home. gone with the wind, only because i had to watch it in school. Never seen casablanca or citizen kane, or psycho (hell no!). I have seen Mary Poppins but not the sound of music, blech. I like the princess diaries, lol! Its a wonderful life - another i've not seen. I hate horror movies, so I havent seen any either. No saving private ryan (hubby has tried several times). I watched Pulp fiction because he made me, and I hated it. No goodfellas, scarface, blecch.

    Say Anything?! Love it. I have a weird John Cusack obsession though. Or, I used to. For the longest time, Serendipity was my fave movie, tied with Pride & Prejudice, now P&P holds first place in all of my heart.

    Wow, super long weird comment. I couldn't help it.

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  3. I love this so much.

    I hadn't seen # 3-6, 8, 9, 11-18, 20, or any of the Indiana Jones movies until I was forced into it sometime in the last 3-4 years!! I still haven't seen Breakfast at Tiffany's, Heathers, or Say Anything. And like you, I'm the one everyone refers to as never seeing any important movies... ever.

    Pretty Woman and Love Actually are my all time favorite movies- guess I just love fluffy rom coms!

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  4. The only ones I've seen on that list are Home Alone and A Christmas Story. And only because I had no choice. Don't plan on seeing any of the others, either!

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  5. Ive seen nearly all of that list. But Im a book snob like you though. I read alll the Bourne series but havent seen half the movies... I also haven't seen Batman the one with Heath Ledger ... so dont feel bad at all!

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  6. I'll be honest here and say that my jaw was flapping open at a lot of those. I won't judge you, as long as you've at least seen the Harry Potter movies ;D That's super awesome that you have a hedgehog though!!

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  7. baha this sounds just like me minus the Christmas movies. I've also never seen "Jaws" or "Fight Club" -- I feel like I often get threatened because of those two as well. I never understood the obsession with superheroes.. A strange world we live in. On a different note, any book recommendations would be greatly appreciated! :)

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  8. I haven't seen most of these movies either! People freak out when they hear that, especially, all those old Christmas classics, I have not seen them! And I tried to watch White Christmas last Christmas, and I just couldn't. It just wasn't for me!

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  9. LOL omg: "3. Citizen Kane — Even though I actually took a film class in college (LOL I know right?) and this was required viewing. Related: this wasn't my best class - See more at: http://alyssagoesbang.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-girl-who-hollywood-failed.html#sthash.ccwrGsy2.dpuf"

    i took that same college course. it was awful. i'd fall asleep every class because it was pitch black in there!! but i did like the movie "Rear Window" lol

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  10. Fear not for I have only seen maybe a third of this list. People like to act shocked, but most of these movies don't interest me in the slightest. I find it more shocking that people haven't read the corresponding books - or any books!

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