Phoning it In

Hello friends.

I know it's Wednesday, and by all rationale I should be here spilling my guts about all my sins and confessions. It is Humpday, after all. But I hope you'll forgive me for two days in a row of phoning it in.

{In case you missed it: What to Pack for Your Jersey Shore Vacation — my sweet and funny friend Kristen had me over at her place yesterday to talk even more about the great state of NJ!}

But even though I promised a special edition of Humpday Confessions today, I'm just not in quite a confessing mood. I'm okay, don't panic. I SAID DON'T PANIC. I'm fine, but my heart just isn't here today.

Last night I had drinks with my friend — let's call him the Lieutenant — to say a goodbye, of sorts, or maybe a "see you later" if you prefer. He's an officer in the U.S Army and he's heading out of here in just a couple of days to spend the next year in a war zone. I know he'll be fine, and he'll be safe, and he'll be smart. And I know he's trained and highly qualified to do what he'll be doing where he'll be doing it, but man, I hate saying goodbye.
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As unsettling as it was to say goodbye to the Lieutenant, it was even harder to be reminded of my life's inextricable intertwinement with the United States military. I mentioned in my Memorial Day post that this girl is no stranger to military personnel — it's like moths to a flame, they're just all around me. And — knock on wood — that's been mostly fine. Well, unless you count the years where my big brother was overseas and would call me at 4 a.m. my time to scold me for whatever his friends ratted me out for doing the weekend before. {Things like, ya know, co-existing with members of the male sex. Gasp.}

Anyway, I've had the military separate me from a lot of people I love for a lot of time, and I'm just growing weary of it I suppose. Yesterday's goodbye struck a particular cord as it reinforced the regret I feel over my inability to say goodbye to another person I adore who shipped off to the other side of the world just a few months ago. I count myself lucky to have seen him while he was on leave, but that's never enough when you have an entire planet separating you for the next year or more.

{Believe me, I know there are people with much worse situations than mine. My heart breaks for military spouses and children, and families who weren't able to have their loved ones returned to them. I can't fathom their struggle and heartache. But I commiserate and have unrelenting empathy for them.}


And now that I've just written basically a whole post about being sad, I'm sorry friends. I'm just feeling a little introverted right now and didn't want to bring the Confessions party down. I'll be back on track next week, don't you fret.

Time for me to wind down my week — I'm off tomorrow and Friday, 'member? Holy sweet relief, batgirls. I need these days off fo' sho'. I'll see you nuggets back here tomorrow.

Comments

  1. Its ok to miss a post, your loyals will still be reading :D I dont know about military life (although we take our military pretty seriously) but I can imagine its hard! I follow a blog of a quad amputee who rocks and I just cant imagine the pain that some families face because of war. I say kudos to your brother and others for serving and being a part of it!

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  2. Having someone you know and care for ship off in the military is difficult you have every right to be sad, but dont wallow in it Im sure your loved ones are going to be just fine and home soon :)

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  3. I can't imagine how hard that is on you! I've never had a loved one go into the military, but I can imagine it would be super hard. Enjoy your time off girlie.

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  4. sorry you had to say goodbye. they are never easy, never easy.

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  5. WHEN YOU TELL ME NOT TO PANIC THAT'S IMMEDIATELY WHAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO DO. Okay. It's okay. Panic has subsided. Goodbyes, so longs, and see ya later gator's are never easy in general, but even more unsettling when you know that person is going somewhere that isn't exactly a vacation. I do love that you share sad posts as well as your super happy fun ones. Enjoy your 4 day weekend lady :) you deserve it !

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  6. It's never easy to say "see you later" to someone you care for - but you totally have the right mindset!! Woo hoo for having time off!

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  7. I actually really enjoyed reading this in lieu of the confessions. I think these types of posts are so important because we get to learn more about you. I can't imagine the life of military families, I feel like the day to day stress would just kill me. Happy that you get a long weekend and I'm a bit jealous too.

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    1. I was logged into the wrong profile, here I am ;)

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  8. I really enjoyed this as well, sometimes the confessions get old (gasp) especially when you're not feeling it, you know? i'm sorry you had to say goodbye, thats never fun and i'm sorry that you've had to deal with so much military in your life. I'm selfish and I've never had to deal with that :( hugs lady, hope you are well! xoxo

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