Tapped Out

It took me a really, really long time to start this post. It's not that I'm tapped out of confessions. I'm just tapped out of energy right now. But I'm also stubborn and a sucker for ritual, so I'll be damned if I miss a Humpday Confessions linkup. {I'll understand if you skip this one.}

I keep starting sentences and then backtracking in the blink of an eye and erasing everything. This, I think, is because I'm going back and forth about little things. Little details. Like, should I share my whole lifetime struggle with insomnia here in order to reinforce the story about how I've been sleeping like shit this week? Or does literally no one on earth want to read about some chick's insomnia?

I still don't know.

Hi, I'm an insomniac and basically have been ever since I was a baby. My mom always says I was born a night-owl because my birth minute is 11:32 p.m. {Fun fact: I was born on Academy Award night in 1989 during the Best Picture announcement. It was Rain Man. No, I've never seen it.}

I almost deleted everything you just read, and I probably should have.

Here's a baby picture of Oliver, just because.
I'm really glad you guys seemed to appreciate yesterday's post and shared with me the weird things you do with the people you love. I probably would have cried if I admitted to calling people "chicken pants" on the Internet and no one got a kick out of it.

I took two days off work next week. One is partially for travel — to Philly, where my friend B and I will stay for a couple days and for our annual voyage to two nights of DMB on the water — but the other one is 100% for me. It's for sleeping in, a long run, blogging from bed, and reading and sunning on the roof.

I can't think of any time in the two years I've been with this company that I've taken a true, honest-to-god personal day. And I can't think of a recent time I've needed anything as badly as I need that day next week.

I often entertain the idea of quitting the life I have here, packing up my Focus with whatever will fit in it, and blowing this popsicle stand. I think about moving somewhere so not here, but I honestly don't think I'll ever do it.

I really love New Jersey, if you couldn't tell, and I love my people here, and, most of the time, the life I have here. I don't really want to live anywhere else. But the wanderlust kicks in every now and then.

Enter traveling. Also enter: saving every spare penny for my move in a few months and having to squash my jet-setting ideas. So I'm pretty sure a road trip is going to be in my near future. Alissa, start packing!

I'm not sure these are even technically confessions anymore. Sorry, Kathy.

I've spent more time this week planning ways to be more productive than I have actually being productive. I should go work on that.

Vodka and Soda
Linking up with Kathy at Vodka & Soda for another 
soul-cleansing installment of Humpday Confessions.

Go ahead and cleanse your soul along with the rest of us sinners. What do you have to confess?


Comments

  1. girl, TAKE A PERSONAL DAY! we all need one every once in a while.

    insomnia sucks. i suffered from that for a LONG time and it was only that i changed my lifestyle that everything changed and now i sleep like a rock. hope you get your sleep sorted out soon.

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. I'm packed! I'm packed! Ready to go whenever you are. Except, I don't want to come back. I just want to go, go, go.

    I was talking to a friend a couple weeks ago and I realized I haven't taken a true vacation - 5 whole days off from work - since summer of 2012. No wonder I feel so burnt out all of the time. Good for you taking a personal day, you deserve it!

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  3. oh boo! i feel ya. i feel a little tapped out on life right now as well.
    i want to read about your insomnia! ok i want to read anything you post, so..... but boo to insomnia :(
    um how do you know which announcement you were born in? were they watching tv in the delivery room? lol
    yay to sleeping in and long run, and going to philly?! jeaaaalllous.
    i dont think i have ever taken a real personal day. wow.
    and yes to planning to be more productive than actually being productive.
    i wish i could pack up and leave sometimes.

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  4. I can absolutely relate to these. I take days off for no reason but to nap and workout and will never offer any apologies. I have also done more planning to be productive, including lists, than I have accomplished anything.

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  5. I took a mental health day today and guess where m cimmenting from. Yup my bed!! So enjoy you day next week girl. Also I almost deleted my post too... whoops.

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  6. Please tell me how wonderful this personal day it. I can only imagine! I haven't not thought about work in a year & a half, since I started this business.

    planning to be productive. yes! I make list after list & it never seems to shrink. only grow. On Monday I resolved to writing everything I needed to do this week down in my planner during specific time slots bc I kept forgetting things. I even wrote down "cancel hair apt." "put gas in your car"

    Have so much fun at Dave! I can't wait to see pics!

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  7. I just got back from vacation and I already want another vacation... so then I left work 2 hours early yesterday for "mental health". Even though we all know there's no shot at my mentality ever really being healthy. And obviously we're the same person so that means your mentality has no shot either. You're welcome.

    Also I probably should have deleted this comment.

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  8. Ive only been at my job for 6 months too soon for a personal day? I could definitely use one!

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  9. It's crazy how it's so easy to PLAN for productivity but putting it into practice is entirely different. Take those personal days!! I NEVER leave vacay days on the table. That shit is mins and I am 100% more productive at home than sitting at my desk all day.

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  10. Yes! I feel ya on being burnt out- I've been the same way lately. Which is also why the blog has been so quiet lately- no desire to come home from work and sit at a computer some more. But I'm taking a few personal days too- yay! Enjoy your time off!!

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  11. The last one is the story of my life. I am waaayyy more productive in my head than I'll ever be in real life.

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  12. Hey Alyssa!! I always dream about life outside of NY but simply cannot bare to leave. And I always end up deleting a sentence or statement! Its the perfectionist in me lol! Great post girl! ;) XO

    Lisa,xo
    http://chiclittlethrills.blogspot.com/

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  13. That last one is totally me. I am waaay more productive in my head than I will ever be in real life!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  14. Mental health days!!! They are a must!!!

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  15. Your last line...so true. I LOVE to plan all the things I'm going to do....just don't ask me how many of them actually get done.

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  16. Your day for you sounds ideal! I hope it is either a beautiful sunny day or a really rainy day that gives you an excuse to lounge away!

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  17. They are hard sometimes!!! That's why sometimes I do a confession type of post without divulging into the daily because honestly sometimes my life isn't that interesting ;-)

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  18. I love that you took a day off just to do YOU. Sometimes those are the absolute best days! ENJOY! :)

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  19. Hahaha, I know this feeling way too well! Also, the quitting your life feeling. Seriously think about that allll the time.

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  20. Definitely take a personal day! I've been getting the wanderlust bug lately but I don't have a penny to my name at the moment so cross of that idea! I also spend more time planning to be productive than actually being productive.

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