Friday Letters Vol. 2
Dear Chiropractor, I will never quit you. That adjustment Wednesday left me feeling drunk and wobbly in all the good ways. Thanks for being a magician and also for acknowledging that I'm a badass.
Dear New York Giants, Please don't hurt me again. All I do is love you.
Dear J. K. Rowling, I've finally hopped aboard your magical train and so far so good, but I'm actually terrified now that everyone is going to turn out to be a traitor and I have so many trust issues right now.
Dear Entire Rest of the World, I've only just discovered how impossible it is to avoid spoilers of a series that's over a decade old. Please just stop talking about Harry Potter until I'm done, k?
Dear Baby DSM, Today is about to be your birthday, and I cannot wait to meet you! Your mama is my best friend and I have no boundaries so you had better brace yourself for lots of auntie kisses and hugs because my favorite kind of kids are the ones I can leave when they start crying and you're going to be my guy.
Dear Sauconys, We're going places this weekend. Get ready.
Dear Stella, You've been a great car for me for the past seven years, and I know you don't want me to send you off to the big garage in the sky, but the time has come for us to part ways. And no amount of surprise Wednesday morning flat tires I have to spend dollhairs to fix is going to keep me from hanging up your accessory belt because you, my princess, have done enough. Time to hit the golf course.
Dear Sam Hunt, Promise it's not weird that every time I play "Leave the Night On" I have to play it at least two more times immediately after? And it's also not weird that I do this several times a day?
Dear Friends, I still want to know — are you in?
Dear IKEA, I really don't want to have to go visit you tomorrow to make this return, but we all have our cross to bear. Please don't make it hurt too much.
Dear Super-soft Oversized Sweater and Leggings, I can't wait to be inside you.
Dear Eyebrow Threader Whose Name I Don't Know, You da real MVP.
Dear Google Analytics, As helpful as you are, you can really freak a girl out. Who is reading from my home town, my work town, my current town, his town, and my parents' town? Reveal yourselves. (Or don't because I'm really not sure I can handle that.)
Dear Blogosphere, What's on tap for your weekend? I hope you've got a great one planned!