I'm Getting Cheese Fries

Is this thing on? Are we here? Is Humpday Confessions Redux with Melissa a go yet? Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries I'm going for it. And if I'm early, it'll be the first time in five years so I'm calling it a check in the W column. On to the soul cleansing, yes? Yes.

Thing I don't think is cute: People in relationships constantly acting like they're bothered by the fact that they're in relationships, or like their significant other is just a hinderance to their life. Calling your girl "the old ball and chain" or the whole "yes dear, whatever you say dear" song and dance or calling your boyfriend/husband an idiot or acting like he's a dolt who can barely tie his shoes without your help is not cute or funny; it's demeaning and rude. If you're not happy in your relationship, get out. If you are, stop complaining about sharing your life with another person and having to compromise once in a while. I'm not suggesting you pretend relationships are pure bliss all the time, (because even as a #singlelady I know it's not) but come on. Doing something nice for or with your significant other really shouldn't be such a burden to you, and if it is, then perhaps you aren't mature enough to have an adult relationship.

My coworker was having something done at her apartment yesterday, so she brought her little baby kitten into the office so he wouldn't get trampled or accidentally turned loose by the workers in her building. And I operated at roughly 19% efficiency all day because LOOK.
He snugged like this for an entire two-hour conference call. By the end of it he had more of the chair than I did.
(I'm not even a cat person.)

On Monday night, I made myself a perfect cup of Lady Grey tea, ate some peppermint gelato, screened Elf and wrapped all my Christmas presents. It's like Mrs. Claus threw up on me or something.
This Friday will be my last day in the office in 2014. After the 19th, I won't come to work again until January 5. This is partly because my bosses generously gave us off a few days over Christmas and New Years — we work with K-12 schools, colleges, and universities, so it doesn't make much economic sense for us to be open. But I'm also able to take off another few days because I have those vacation days saved up. And I HATE it when people comment about "how lucky" I am to have "such a nice long vacation" with the hint of oh it must be nice attitude. Must I point out that having those days saved up at the end of the year indicates that I took pretty much NO vacation all year long? I'm still losing like three or four days that don't carry over. I work my ass off and am in the office almost every single workday from January–December so yeah, I'm cashing in on a holiday break so I can breathe for the first time in 12 months.

There was one person left (on my too-long to-buy list) that I needed to buy a Christmas gift for, but then I decided to remove them from my list altogether. See, I give gifts for two reasons: the first (and preferred) is as a good-will gesture for friends and family who are loving, supportive, compassionate, and kind to me throughout the year, and who I want to thank by giving them something I think they'll enjoy. The second reason is, honestly, out of obligation and to spare myself a lashing from someone who won't respond to logic. I never want people I love to equate the amount of money I spend on them with love, because I don't have a lot of money to spend, but I have more than enough love, empathy and help to give.
Anyway, a person who was on my gift list has worked their way out of that first category. All through shopping season I was debating what to buy, couldn't come up with something, waffled on what I should spend, and then I finally decided... I'm not going to. What are your holiday/birthday rules for gifting with family and friends?

(Related: Do you tip your super? My last building didn't have one; my landlord owned the building and was the "super"... and he was also useless and mean and weird and creepy so, nah. The super in my new building is a very nice and friendly guy though. Is this still the custom?)

I probably sound really angry, but I swear I'm not. I just spend a lot of time thinking and these are some of the results. That's just one of the perks of being a life-long insomniac. I also just have Resting Bitch Tone. It's just as bad as Resting Bitch Face (with which I am also afflicted), but it happens when you're unbreakably sarcastic and have a naturally deep and sharper tone to your voice. And writing voice. That latter part would be helped if I used more emoticons and exclamation points, probably.

Part of the reason I'm re-watching all of 7th Heaven right now? I've always had a thing for David Gallagher.

Oh and lastly... I still haven't ever watched Home Alone. Please don't hate me, Michael!

Comments

  1. You speak the truth about those people in relationships! Sooo many act like its a chore but I think a lot of people do it for attention so I just ignore.

    That kitten is soooooo cute I wish I could have a pet in my apt!! Also yay for vacay ... defo enjoy it!

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  2. The fact that there's an adorable cat on this post is saving you from my Home Alone wrath... Especially since our was on last night...😒

    I only buy for immediate family, K, and his dad and sister. I don't have the resources to be buying for anyone else.

    I never, and I do mean never, have rollover days. I show up everyday and our in my time but the way I see it, I earned those days, I'm taking them!





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    1. Also was going to say, I tweeted an article about holiday tipping last night if you're interested.

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  3. Um yes to the relationship thing. I've never understood that and agree that it's demeaning and honestly, just sad. Ben and I operate at a pretty high level of mutual respect so I just don't get that at all :(

    I'm more of a dog person than a cat person but I do have a weakness for tiny kittens! Too cute.

    I'm having a hard time with the gift-giving thing this year too, mainly because I hate that it has become such a thing and is mainly driven by obligation (or at least that's how I feel). I've bought little things for family so far and that's probably all I'll do. I haven't even bought Ben anything because I don't know what to get him, and I don't want to get him something out of obligation any more than I want to for other people. Bah humbug, I guess.

    (P.S. are you still sure that the weekend of the 10th is going to work for you? I didn't realize you were already taking so many days off and don't want you to have to turn around and take one like right after your big vacay. But I also don't want to impose on your big vacay! ;))

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  4. I'm not a cat person either but that little kitty is adorable!! I dont think you tip your super...but then again I'm not 100% sure, so not much help there lol!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  5. ahhhh kitty! not a cat person? not friends anymore! ok i forgive you but only because i am going to see you soon.
    i have never had a super, so..... we moved in to our apartment in november and out the following december, and we didn't give our landlordy guy a tip but we did give him a bottle of wine when we moved out (that may or may not have been left over from our wedding). so.. i'm no help. also i'm no help with tipping in general.
    gifts for me are the same as you. i either love you or i feel obligated. i love my friends, my husband and my mum. my husband's family are all obligation. i just remembered i hadn't got his dad anything.. do i have to? they don't live here and are coming down for the 27th, a late christmas at his grandmas, i got the grandma something.. ugh if i get the dad / step mom something, they have 3 kids (foster kids) jeepers thats 4 more presents.
    anyway.
    ramble much.
    i have 3 friends. 2 i love dearly. the other, i like, but she is so selfish sometimes and a pain in my butt. i bought the other 2 lots, little things i thought they would like. i only bought her one thing, which i happened to buy for all 4 of us (a mug) and couldn't think of anything else, and was stressing, but then like you i was just like.... no. no more. she won't get me anything, she won't even make time to see us before christmas, so.. no present for you!
    and yay for so much vacation! boo for zero vacation taking during the year though. hope you enjoy your time off though.
    i hate when people do that about relationships. KC bit the christmas tree (yes, he bit it) to test if it was real, and when my bestie told me, i rolled my eyes and said 'my husband ladies and gentlemen' and she was like oh don't be mad, and i was like i'm joking chill. she babies her husband and during the summer is like you forgot to put sunscreen on KC and he got sun burnt and i'm like he's a grown ass man, he can put his on sunscreen on. that's not the same as what you were saying, i know, but it bugs me.
    anyway. this might be the longest comment i have ever left.

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  6. You could give your super a bottle of wine?

    I'm not a cat person but definitely loving the kitten!

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  7. #1, so true! When you respond to this, I'll tell you which blogger is guilty of it and it drives me bonkers. Like... do you even like your husband? Pretty sure no....
    The kitty!! SO CUTE. All offices need pets, all the time.
    Now go watch Home Alone so I can like you again.

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  8. You have a lot of emotions going through you. I do agree about the boyfriend thing. If you don't like you don't have to be there..
    www.minsbeautyequipment.com

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  9. Followed you over from Katie's blog. I enjoyed your humor. A agree with what you say about people in relationships. That even goes for married people. Work on changing something instead of complaining about it.
    I don't think you should feel obligated to give anyone a gift. If we just give a gift because someone gifts us then we are just trading not really giving.

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  10. Well isn't that kitty just adorable?!? I would get nothing done all day either!! I agree about not always downing the person you are with to others. Maybe it's ok to joke around with a girlfriend or something...but to constantly put them down is not healthy and makes you look dumb. Like why are you with them in the first place?

    I used to be an apartment manager and it was nice that some residents thought to bring us a box of candy, a bottle of wine, a $5 gift card to Starbucks...whatever. It was nice. I didn't really ever expect cash....

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  11. i'm like you: i only give a gift because i care about that person and i think they'll enjoy it. the others? nope, i don't even consider them. then i sort of feel like an asshole when they give me a gift but they didn't make my list for a reason so i stick to that. i'm still extremely grateful that they thought of me, though.

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  12. That kitten is SO cute! And I am craving peppermint ice cream now- I'm going to look for that flavor next time I'm at the grocery store! I like your gifting philosophy. I really try only to buy gifts for people that they'll want/use/like-- not just to get them something. I hope you're enjoying the start of your break from work :)

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  13. I'm a million years behind on my feedly, so don't judge this comment so late in the game..
    I hope with the new job that I can bring my dog in, he's so awesome... except for his thing about marking stuff that isn't supposed to be peed on..
    My gifting philosophy is usually if they are getting me something, then I'm obligated, but otherwise, I get people gifts who I care about and who I want to make happy. This year I helped a FB friend with her redditgifts secret santa since her person asked for his gifts to be directed to his sister and family instead of himself, which brought great joy to my heart. Helping people in need is always my fave.

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