My Big Girl Specs

When I was in fifth grade, I became overwhelmed with the need for glasses. By that I mean...I really, really wanted glasses. I'm not sure how much my eyes actually needed glasses, but 11-year-old Alyssa? Desperately. I'm not totally sure why, except maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was kind of a weird kid. And I also didn't really love my face in fifth grade. (I don't always love my face now, but 25-year-old Alyssa is allowed to wear makeup and 11-year-old Alyssa wasn't.)

Somehow, I convinced my parents and an optometrist that I needed glasses too. I'm honestly not 100% sure at this point that there were real prescription lenses in there or if everyone was just humoring me (I may have cheated at the eye exam...) and figured if I was going to "act out for attention" that it was best that I was doing it by demanding eyewear, rather than smoking. (The smoking would come in middle school.)

I remember my first frames. They were — are you even ready for this? You aren't — Bugs Bunny glasses. No, I'm not kidding. They had little carrots on the hinges where the frames connected to the legs (terminology? Whatever.) and the legs... Oh man. So the legs were Bugs Bunny legs. The ends of the arms (does that work interchangeably with legs?) where they wrapped around my ears were rabbit feet. The frames were gray. My brother made fun of me. I wasn't even like some huge Bugs Bunny fan or anything! I forget when I stopped wearing them but I don't think they made it to middle school with me. Money well spent, indeed.

Then in my senior year of high school, in a last-ditch effort to get to the bottom of my headaches, after CT scans and neurologist visits offered no explanation, and well before I discovered the magic of chiropractic and a gluten-free diet, back to the eye doctor I went. The thing was, I could see, but I could also un-see really easily. It took just slightly more effort to focus than it did to drop out of focus. That's where I learned that I had "tired eyes." Meaning I spent all day in school and work straining my eyes to read, so by the end of the day, they were tired of trying to focus and that vicious cycle kind of started wrecking my vision.
So I got these. And I wore them to class through college and sometimes when I didn't feel like doing my makeup, but they did nothing for the headaches and, like most things in my life, I kind of just phased them out.

For the past three-plus years, my job has consisted of looking at a computer screen for the better part of my waking day. For the past year I've been putting "See eye doctor and get glasses" on my To Do list. For the past year I've been putting it off because glasses are expensive, yo. But I finally got tired of dropping my computer screen in and out of focus and put "see eye doctor" on my December To Do list and even budgeted for an exam and glasses! Because December isn't a spendy enough month as it is, ya know? But then Firmoo actually saved the day.

They reached out to me because they know I'm blind and poor, apparently, and their offer of a free pair of glasses honestly could not have come at a better time. Because not only did I need new glasses, I needed a reason to take a whole bunch of selfies for you to enjoy.
And by enjoy, I mean cringe at along with me.

I went to the eye doctor a few weeks ago for an updated prescription, and I learned two things: I have exceptionally dry eyes that need drops a few times a day, and I have astigmatism. Why I've never been told before that I have astigmatism, I don't know. But I've been wearing the new frames over the last few workdays and while I still see some blurring issues now and then, there's a dramatic improvement too. Hell. Yes.

Truthfully, I was going to buy my glasses from Firmoo even if they hadn't generously offered me a pair. On the site, you can see dozens of different styles of glasses and sunglasses and the pricing is seriously budget-friendly. Because 25-year-old Alyssa still isn't crazy about her face 100% of the time, I (switching back to first person now, keep up!) loved the feature where I could upload a picture to "try on" the frames before ordering. Ordering was easy, shipping was fast (less than a week from order to delivery), they send a hard and soft case to protect your specs, and my new glasses are ca-ute, if I may be so bold.
What do you think? Do they suit me?

If you're in the market for some new frames, you can get your first pair from Firmoo for free using the code "FREEFIRMOO" at checkout on select pairs. Just head over and upload your snap, select your frames (prescription, fashion, or sunglasses) and it's a done deal. Let the studious selfie session commence.

And now you can just call me Four Eyes.

PS: For anyone with old glasses they no longer need, I'd love to point you toward New Eyes for the Needy as a resource for recycling your old frames. I know someone very close to this nonprofit organization and know the great work they do. I'm happy to help you donate your used glasses however I can!

Firmoo generously provided me with a complimentary pair of glasses in exchange for a review, but all opinions and Looney Tunes-related anecdotes are my own. This post contains an affiliate link.

Comments

  1. Oh my gosh these are so cute! I got LASIK a few years ago and honestly regret it a lot of the time because glasses are cute and I think my face looks better with them. I actually thought about getting a pair from Firmoo without real frames in them, but since I'm not in 5th grade (yeah I totally did that thing where I got fake glasses from Claire's or something and then a year later oops, I actually needed real glasses) I decided against it.

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  2. i ordered a pair from firmoo and i fucked up because when i got them they were wayyyy too big for my face, but because it took ups so long to get them to me, i missed the return window so now i just have a pair of pedo glasses sitting on my dresser :(

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  3. I love that you said you were going to buy the specs from them even if they hadn't offered!! Just shows that you really like the company!! I love the ones you picked for yourself!! So great!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  4. i desperately wanted glasses in elementary school too. idk why, but i was always jealous of the kids who walked away with a slip from the nurses at school after they tested all our eyes. damn my perfect vision! recently i noticed it was getting hard to read street signs while iw as driving so i went to the eye doc too and i have astigmatism too! i got a pair from warby parker, but i'm thinking i need an updated prescription because my glasses are now making the blur worse so maybe this time around i'll try firmoo!

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  5. I used to want glasses too!!! I have better than 20/20 so I have never needed them.
    At one point, I had 5 pair of fake glasses, and I wore them so often that the people I went to grad school with totally believed that I wore glasses!
    Those look great on you!!!

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  6. They look so cute and I literally just drafted a post for Firmoo and put that I have always wanted glassses and I gave a story about how my mum had to take me to the optometrist because I faked not seeing well ahah!!! I kid you not. And yes they suit you!!

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  7. oh I love the new eyes for the needy, what a great idea! i will definitely do that when i get new glasses.
    WAIT. Bugs Bunny glasses?! that is AMAZING and I want a photo!!
    I think my eyes are tired too - I really need to go to the eye doctor. I'm always squinting and leaning towards the computer screen or book. It's not pretty. But you are! love the new glasses, super fetch.

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  8. Those are adorable!! Perfect for you! I didn't even know they made Bugs Bunny glasses. Too bad there's no pic of that! Lol!

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  9. Okay your Bugs Bunny glasses sound amazing! Too funny that you weren't even a big fan and just ended up with those, haha, so cute :) LOVE the new ones-- the round frames look amazing on you!

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  10. The new(ish) specs totally suit you! Love them. Don't worry, I think I was weirder (it's a word when I need it to be) ... I always wanted braces as a kid. Granted, I could have used then on the bottom, but still. Such a weird want.

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