My Words: Knell

The sound of your tags tangling above me burns in my ears like metal on my tongue, the bitter, nearly hostile reminder of why you won't be here tomorrow. Until I reach up and slip, slide them over your close-cropped hair and off your neck, they chime like the death knell, hurrying to tell me this is about to be all in my mind.

You press your face to mine—or mine to yours?—and I inhale deep, filling my lungs with the airborne taste of a bold red and a flavor that's all your own. I drink it in like a life force, convinced if I breathe heavily enough my body will become made of yours and you will become the force inside it, as much as you are the force inside my mind at this moment, the driving force urging me to make every move the way I know you want me to.

Your teeth close around my lips and I'm grateful for the excuse, the excuse to keep quiet and stop myself from spilling every pretty and petty thing I know better than to tell you. Your grip on me tightens and quickens the pace of my pulse and it's only a minute more before I'll need to be reminded to breathe—in, out. Inhale, exhale. Breathe you in, sigh you out.

We don't love like we used to. Not each other, and no one else, not for all the life we've lived in our short time and not for all the ways we know we shouldn't, couldn't, never would. The literal and metaphorical spaces between us could fill a thousand galaxies, and I won't dare be the one who attempts to bridge such gaps.

But still, I like to sleep with the clothes you shed from your body wrapped around mine, because even though the scent of your skin will wash away in the minutes after I wake, I selfishly hope the hours spent inside them will absorb your essence into my flesh, and I will carry some chemical version of you around with me long after your plane soars out of view.

Comments

  1. This. This is my favorite <3

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  2. This is intense and so well written. I love the expression "death knell", too.

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  3. Girl, seriously...you can write!!!! This is just amazing.

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  4. oh my.... this was quite the read lady! you have some serious talent <3

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  5. You are an incredible writer and really have a wonderful way with words ♥

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  6. this is beautiful. you are such a fabulous writer!
    The literal and metaphorical spaces between us could fill a thousand galaxies, and I won't dare be the one who attempts to bridge such gaps. - LOVE.

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  7. You, you are so amazing. Such an incredible piece of writing, sweet friend! <3

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  8. You are such a beautiful writer. I am always so impressed! This is truly incredible. Also this line "Your teeth close around my lips and I'm grateful for the excuse, the excuse to keep quiet and stop myself from spilling every pretty and petty thing I know better than to tell you." - you get me with your words love. They evoke true human emotion.

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