Trust


I have kind of a confession: I'm not doing exactly great right now. Great things are happening in my life, and some parts of my world are working and feeling great. But on the whole? "Great" isn't the word to use.

To be frank, my employment/work/whatever you want to call it situation is in flux in a scary way, and I'm not really certain of what's going to happen. I'm lucky and grateful to be teaching two regular classes per week, hopefully building a third very soon, and subbing classes left and right. But contrary to popular belief, baby yoga teachers don't really roll in the big bucks. I absolutely love working at Bad Yogi, but it's still part time. And I have a few ongoing contracts, but each comes with its own frustrations and challenges and some of those frustrations and challenges are related to their payment policies (or lack thereof). On top of it all, I'm apparently unhireable, as I've sent out by my estimate 34,000 resumes and gotten two interviews and zero responses or follow-ups. I've pitched countless editors, given away dozens of free ideas, and received not a single peep in response. I'm exhausted, and I'm scared.

I'm not telling you this for pity or sympathy. I'm telling you this because it's real, its what's going on in my life, it's what I'm worried about, and it's what's keeping me from devoting more time, energy, and attention to blog world. But even while this dark cloud is looming over me, I'm doing my best to enjoy each day and find lightness within it all. I don't want to be one of those bloggers who pretends life is roses 24/7, but I also don't want to wallow or surrender to this problem—this problem that worrying will do nothing to solve.

On the one hand, I feel like I've exhausted all my options and there's nothing left to do but sit around and wait. On the other, I know that necessity is the mother of invention. And I know that there is never going to be a "good" time to take yet another leap and go after something I want, but there is also never a good time to stagnate.

What to do while you're waiting

Work on your handstand, your hollow back, your scorpion. Not because yoga is about acrobatics, or because nailing these poses means being "good at yoga." But because twisting up your body is sometimes the only way to unwind your mind. Because bending at the back means opening up the heart and sometimes a release of the heart chakra is exactly what your soul calls for.

Celebrate your 16 weeks of exploration and education with your new yoga family. Gather with your YTT classmates for red wine, tiny tattoos, delicious empanadas, deep belly laughs, and future plans.

Have a pizza party. A virtual pizza party at that. Work with the little family at Bad Yogi to reach a kick-ass goal, and literally have a pizza party via Skype with three people you respect, admire, and adore. Connect between New Jersey, Austin, and France in a shared love of food and yoga and changing the world.

Go for a run. Hate it, feel like a failure. Then do it again, and remember why you did it at all. (Remember also that next week is the last of the month, which means it's time for Training for Tuesday once again!)

Have an early birthday celebration with family, and eat leftover carrot cake for days. Drink every beverage out of your new mug from mom and remember the wisdom of Professor Dumbledore with each sip.

Insure yourself and get on the hunt for teaching time slots, even when you realize there is no shortage of great teachers in your area. Realize that the best you can do is teach your best class each time, be yourself, be a good source of energy, and people will gravitate naturally toward your class. Recognize a few more faces each week and realize holy crap—you've got regulars. Feel good and embrace it, and try to breathe in all that goodness for 75 minutes each time you teach, letting nothing else interfere with your good class vibes.

Set up a business website. Keep it private for now, but set a date. Get ready to launch. Know what you're doing. Know it's good. Know it in your bones that you're on the right track. Prepare. Work. Trust.

Make plans. Make outlines. Make lists. Sketch, recruit helpers, envision it all coming together. Know it will.

Comments

  1. You have such hustle that the perfect thing(s) is going to come along...It's hard to wait - I so get that, but you're doing things that are making you feel good which is all you can really ask for! xo, biana -BlovedBoston

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  2. You've got a lot of coals on the fire. Something has to pay off.

    Beyond that, the virtual pizza party is its own reward.

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  3. I have been in this space...working and pushing at all angles and coming up with nothing. It's frustrating and exhausting and it feels like nothing will ever click again. But it will. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.

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  4. I want to give you the biggest hug and tell you that it's going to be okay - not to make you feel better but because it IS going to be okay. I am so proud of you for bravely putting yourself out there and accepting that this is your life right now, that you're doing all you can do and that you just don't have control over what happens next. When I was in the same position it both excited and frustrated me that all it would take was ONE call. And I couldn't figure out why it wasn't coming, but it didn't have anything to do with me and even if it did, I couldn't change it. And then one day it came very unexpectedly and the Universe's timing suddenly all made sense and I just have this feeling the exact same thing is going to happen to you. Trust, my amazing friend! <3

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  5. I HATE that you're going through this, but I love that you shared it. I'm so excited for your business website, and if it's what you've talked about before I know you are going to be so awesome and even though it sucks and is definitely scary right now, things will come together soon. I love that you focused on what to do while you're waiting-- I wrote a post for training for tuesday next week that basically is about going for a run, feeling like a failure, and still trying anyway. It's so easy to just fall into a funk and not feel like doing anything- so thanks for keeping it real & being motivating and encouraging even when you probably don't feel like it :)

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  6. thinking of you <3

    thanks for being so real. better things are coming for you, i can FEEL it. also what an amazing outlook to have... so easy to just give up but you;re so strong!

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  7. I love your honesty. I love your ideas while waiting. Keep your mind busy and you will never be a failure.

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  8. You're the strongest female I know and I love you. You have great things coming ahead and trust is your best ally. It will all come together.

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  9. I love this. Know that you are definitely not alone in what seems like the lostness of occupation/life. You are already ahead of most by knowing what your passions are and that's admirable.
    Linds @ Not A Mom

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  10. I have a post very similar to this set to go live tomorrow. We are different states of flux, but in states of flux none the less. Change is scary, whether it's chosen or part of an unexpected life pattern. You have such a hustle and you will achieve great things, of that I am sure.

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  11. While I hate that you're having to deal with this (and I understand what you're going through more than I wish I did), I love that you have a "what to do while you're waiting list". I'm in that space, too. Also with the business website. We should set up a Skype date to discuss and share and brainstorm. Support systems are key.

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  12. Virtual hugs coming at your through the internets! Your attitude in what seems like a "wait for it - awesome things are coming" phase is phenomenal. I promise when life feels more secure, you'll forget the angst and worry. And your to do list while waiting is inspirational . . . we should all follow your lead here!

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  13. I am sending you all the hugs but mainly for support and not for pitty because girl you are too awesome and wonderful to be in flux for long. The right thing is going to come along and scoop you up, even if it is your own thing that you create!!! I read a book last weekend called the Power of Broke and the whole moral of the story is that sometimes when you have little you become the most because you are forced to get creative. If you are thinking of starting your own thing, give the podcast Being Boss a listen. It has really inspired me and they talk about how to lunch your business and everything in a recent episode. And know that you have my support! Get it girl!

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  14. I appreciate your honesty so much more than you know. Within the next year, it is very possible (almost certain) that I will be in a similar place, and I'm already experiencing anxiety over it. The lease is up at our store, and most likely (again, almost certain), we will not re-sign in our current position. So, I am researching markets and areas and businesses to determine if we open in another location, another suburb? Do we use another business structure? Do we give up on being small business owners and go to work for someone else to ensure a steady income? If that's the case, where/when do I begin the search/hunt? What do I want to do? See. I am feeling you, Alyssa. Even though you aren't in a "great" place, your honesty and outlook is still inspiring. Thank you.

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  15. Sending you lots of hugs, good vibe, and positive energy. xoxo

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  16. Alyssa, I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time. When I finished grad school, it took me six months to find a job and I was miserable, borderline depressed. I was in a very bad place. I was living at home and my mom didn't want to be around me, my boyfriend (now husband) and I almost broke up...it wasn't good. I took the first job I could find and ended up being miserable and then spent another 6 months looking for a job. I wish I could say something but it sounds like you're doing everything right to NOT go down that path. The best advice I can give you is to tell everyone you know what you're looking for, maybe even your blog! You never know when someone might say...hey, I have this opportunity...

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  17. Girl.... HUGE hugs to you! Not pity hugs, but comfort, understanding, and support. I totally feel you, and although I can't relate as I'm in the "comfort" of corporate work, I commiserate. As for the business website, THAT I'm with you on 1000%. It's scary and thrilling all at the same time. I'm here.

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  18. I'm not sure how I missed you getting a tiny tattoo, but I love it! And please tell me those delicious empanadas were from Fusion. Business website? That's incredibly exciting! I think I've said so before, but I truly commend you on sticking to your guns, knowing your own worth, and not settling for anything else. THAT takes courage. Your hard work and dedication will pay off soon, just hang in there! Hugs!!

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  19. I think just from reading through the comments on your post that at some point or another everyone has felt like you have, that of course doesn't make it any easier or less significant but just know you aren't alone. You have such a hustle and hard working attitude that I truly admire and respect. I'm sending you so many positive vibes that the perfect opportunity knocks on your door soon!

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  20. all the hugs your way! i hate that you are going through this, of course, and i wish there was something i could do to make it better/happen sooner. i have no doubt that amazing things will happen for you, because you are amazing, and i just know it. not coming from a place of pity at all, you are one the strongest most awesome people i ever met, and i admire you. i am super positive that shit will turn around for you.

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  21. Thank you for #realtalk! I think I tend to enjoy blogger's real posts almost more than regularly scheduled stuffs just because it's nice to see that I'm not the only one wading through the muck. I definitely admire you positivity and I'm going to try and steal a page from your book and work that into my life. :)

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  22. Friend, I may not be commenting as much as I used to but I promise that you're always in my thoughts! I'm always sending you ALL the positive energy I can! Being an adult can suck sometimes and this is one of those times, BUT your attitude is one that I admire that many wouldn't be able to muster up so you've got one tiny victory going there.

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