Off My Chest

While the rest of bloglandia is out here confessing their sins, I'm looking to get some things off my chest in a different way. I know some of you might think I'm a perpetual sourpuss lately, which I swear is not the case. It's just that some less-than-cheery topics lend themselves better to blog posts than the cheerier ones.

Like the fact that this Friday is my cousin's wedding and I'm so happy for her and cannot wait to perform my MOH duties to help make her big day as perfect as possible! Or the fact that even though spring weather is nowhere in sight, Memorial Day is just around the corner and hopefully summer will take that cue to arrive. Or the fact that I have something suuuuch a long time coming working its way to a blog post announcement near you! (Sorry for vague-blogging, but I'm just trying to keep myself accountable!)

But that's about all there is to say about those things, for now. But I do have a whole hell of a lot to say about some other things, and I just need to get a some mini-rants (aimed at no one in particular) off my chest.

1. Grammar dismissers
Caring about grammar and spelling doesn't make me uptight, pedantic, or boring. Look, the rules we ask language to abide by exist for a reason—clarity of message above all—and there's really no good reason that I've ever heard of to throw them to the side when discussing writing that is expected to have any degree of professionalism. Business websites, marketing content, and YES, your social media if your social media is a part of your business strategy. 

Frankly, I think it's rude when people tell me not to worry about spelling and grammar in a piece I'm writing or editing, or tell me "it's not important" when I point out an error (that can be fixed) on something professional. That is literally my job. And it's my job because it's NOT a laborious task for me. I have a feeling the people who make this request or think I'm being pedantic aren't as fluent as I am in these spelling and grammar rules, and it's harder for them to edit for them. That's fine. That's why people like ME, who don't have to stop and think about the difference between its and it's, are editors. Telling me not to do my job because it's "not important" to you is pretty insulting.

And also? Clean up your grammar and learn how to spell. It's good for the world.

2. Savasana quitters
Most yoga classes, including all of mine and every single one in the studios I teach and practice in, end in savasana. Corpse pose. Final resting pose. Concluding meditation. Basically, it's grown-up nap time. It's 2-3 minutes long, sometimes mayyyyybe 4 minutes, and it never ceases to amaze me how many people take the cue for savasana as their cue to leave class early.

First of all, I feel bad for you. Honestly, I do, and I'm not trying to condescend. But I truly don't understand why you don't think you deserve or need or can benefit from less than 5 minutes to let your body be still and calm and catch up to the 75 minutes of intense physical work you just did before you go out and return to the madness of your life. In fact, if your life is so busy that 2-4 minutes of stillness feels frivolous, you need savasana more than anybody. It's dessert.

Secondly, you're disruptive and rude. I can't actually believe that so many of us teachers have to say during the final few minutes of class that people who can't stay for savasana need to leave before it begins. Rolling up your mat or (even worse) cleaning it right there in the studio while other people are still finishing up their practice just can't be done quietly, and while you may be in a rush to get back to reality, the rest of us would like to treat ourselves to every one of these 75 minutes we set aside to do something good for ourselves. Whatever you're rushing off to, it can wait. If you can sweat for 73 minutes, you can rest for another 2. You're not going anywhere important with your shirt drenched in sweat and your hair a mess.

3. Cartwheel shaming
I love Target, I really do. I loooove my RedCard, and I love using Cartwheel for an extra few cents off things here and there. But why oh why, Target, do you offer us the opportunity to add tampons to our coupon list privately? First of all, who the hell is looking at my Cartwheel but me? Shopping lists don't need to be a social platform—enough already. Secondly, I am a woman and I have a period and I use tampons, and if you think I should be ashamed of or make an effort to hide any part of that fact, screw you.

4. Workout guilting
Just because I chose to be a runner doesn't mean I also chose the conditions that surround racing that are out of my control. So yeah, I'm allowed to use an early run or tired legs or traveling for a race as a reason for why I can't do something else, even though you think that if I *really wanted to* I'd be able to shrug off my training or racing. Training is intense, and races are expensive, and missing social events and going to sleep early are necessary evils included in being a distance runner. The (hopefully good) race is the reward for all that. So "You chose to be a runner/race tomorrow" is not the way to guilt runners into doing what you think is a better use of their time. (Also applicable to athletes or, really, hobbyists of any sort.)

And also? While I'm on the subject, people who work or enjoy fitness aren't freaks or antisocial or one-track minded. We too have relationships and friends and enjoy time with our families. We go out to dinner and happy hour and even though sometimes we get to sleep early to get up early for a workout, that doesn't mean we aren't enjoying life. I see memes about "enjoying life rather than spending all of it at the gym" or whatever people who don't work out at all say to convince themselves that exercising is a waste of time.

People who work out the amount (or more) that I do often enjoy working out and that's one of the reasons we devote so much time to it. We don't do it to escape family and friends (although sometimes...) and we don't neglect people for fitness. WE aren't the freaks for loving our bodies and taking care of them in a way we enjoy. It's always so passive-aggressive when I hear this, and it just reeks of accusations that are wildly off-base.

5. Girl-on-girl hate
I don't know what it is lately but I am seeing so. much. woman. hate. on social media. It’s not funny or clever to call girls skanks or whores because you don’t like them, or because they dress in clothes you don't feel comfortable in. (Remember the paraphrased words of Tina Fey here: All that does is give men permission to call women skanks and whores.) Find another way to make yourself feel good that doesn’t involve calling someone else a nasty name that zeroes in on sexuality or harmless sexual exploration.

In fact, if you don't like a woman because you think she's a bitch, I'd rather you call her a bitch. But don’t call her a whore because you don't like her. And don't decide you don't like her or she's your enemy because she's wearing a crop top and smokey eye. Using only sexualized names and "reasons" to criticize other women is straight-up unhealthy, and plays right into the idea that sexual women are right to be criticized on all levels, because being sexual means she has nothing to offer. And if you want to argue that she DOES have more to offer, that may be true, but why does it offend you if her sexuality is the part of herself that she chooses to accentuate today, and why is it any business of yours?

Bottom line is there are enough hurdles for women to clear still, today. Baseless and judgmental woman-on-woman crime shouldn't be one of them anymore. 

Any rants you feel the need to just set free into the universe? DO IT. Trust me, feels good.

Comments

  1. Well I can't wait to see what you're announcing tomorrow! Target keeping the tampons off your list / sending them to your privately is pretty weird! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  2. women over the age of 20 still do the girl hating thing? sad. and lame. thank god i'm not around that anymore. we just do hag on hag hate now. just kidding...women 40+ don't have time for that bullshit.

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  3. I have a rant post for tomorrow! Mine also touches on the sexualization of women - someone I know said Harriet Tubman was "not a looker" and it just outraged me because why the fuck does that matter?! She's an important historical figure, and I don't see anyone talking about the various president's lack of physical attractiveness.

    I did not know workout guilting was a thing. I've had people not be very supportive when I was in my healthiest place, but I don't think I ever had long enough workouts/enough social events that they conflicted in any big way. Grammar is important! Even in a non-professional context. I have a couple friends who send me shit without any punctuation and tons of spelling issues and sometimes I'm literally guessing what it means. It can no longer be called communication at that point; it's just noise.

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    1. Spotted a typo. You'll forgive me, I'm sure. :P

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    2. My blood boiled as well when I saw the Harriet Tubman comment. I don't know why people enjoy bashing people they don't know, or hey someone who is not even with us anymore. That makes you look like a real class A human! :)

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  4. I can't wait for your announcement!!

    And AMEN to the rest of your post. I remember when I used to do yoga how annoyed I would get with people getting up and leaving while we're all supposed to just let our bodies get a few minutes of rest. Girl-on-girl hate? OMG, I'm done with it. I don't understand why it happens so much :(

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  5. Cartwheel making things private is weird. Why does everything have to be a social platform also? Is it really necessary? I think no.

    Yes to the workout guilting. Last summer, when I was running at 9pm or later (because that's when it would only be 90 degrees instead of 100), people couldn't understand why I was busy running from 9-11pm. Because training beeches. I invited several people to run with me, but no one ever took me up on it. Losers. :)

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  6. I totally don't understand people who feel the need to skip Savasana...it is hands down the best part of my day when I go to yoga class (well, top ten at least depending on how good the day has been, lol).

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  7. I don't use the cartwheel app, but you can make tampons private?? That's so weird and would bother me too. I always think of you when I use (misuse) dashes in emails and comments because I know I'm not using them correctly, I think it's just my way of trying to breakup my thoughts as I would if I were actually speaking? But I need to take the time to learn the correct use, because I really do think about it all of the time. I think you posted about this a while back, but on the subject of workout guilt and memes and things implying that you can't do X because you're doing X is so frustrating. Don't minimize what someone else is doing because you're not doing it- or it's something you don't want to do!

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  8. ++ for the I have a period and it's okay and the whore/skank names. Overall I'd rather we state exactly what we don't like about each other. Name calling in general is the lazy way out. One I will take in some cases (Trump, etc) but one that often makes it seem that we as women are anti-women who are not doing the same things we do.

    I don't yoga as of now but I can't imagine that I'd want to skip savasana.

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  9. Couldnt agree more about the grammar dismissers ha! And I agree, its about time the girl on girl hate stops period. I see it way too often these days and its hella annoying!

    Also savasana is the absolute best part ha! Why would anyone even want to skip it!

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  10. I had no idea that Cartwheel/Target did that. Is it just tampons? Why is there such a stigma around female hygiene products, like it's something shameful that we should feel the need to hide? Can I hide condoms on there too, or should I feel ashamed for wanting to practice safe sex? Ugh.

    I also agree with the grammar dismissers mini-rant as well. I attempt to use proper grammar and at least spell-check, but if I'm writing a professional or business piece and I'm unsure about the proper grammar rules I'll ask the Google or an editor-friend to help me out :)

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  11. Slow clap for you for standing up for all of us grammar-appreciating, savasana-enjoying, period-having, workout-obsessed women. Grammar and spelling are important and I HATE that apparently one of the products of the digital age is not caring about them anymore. When I was teaching I heard that the essays of standardized tests don't get graded for grammar/spelling anymore (or if it did it counted for very little - my classes didn't have standardized tests so that's secondhand and I can't remember for sure). Ugh. I mean the rest of what you said is important too but apparently I am just really sad about grammar. I also haven't been working out regularly so I no longer relate to that bit ;)

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  12. Oh an announcement? How exciting! So ummm I had no clue that Target offers to hide tampons in cartwheel? WTF? I use cartwheel all the time but I guess whatever I use isn't in there or something because mine is filled with mostly groceries and a few beauty/skin care or cleaning things every now and then. Do they give the opportunity to hide candy? Because I would rather hide candy or ice cream than tampons. Just saying. Haha. And dont even get me started on all the woman on woman hating lately. It disgusts me when I see women being so damn judgy towards another woman for her life choices, what she is wearing, what she does for a living, how she raises her kid, if she breast feeds or not. Just stop all the hate damnit!!!

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  13. Ohh I feel you on so many of these, especially the savasana quitters! It is my favorite part of class sometimes, and like you said, who can't lay calm for 2 minutes to reflect on what just happened. If your life is THAT busy that you need to get moving, maybe take private classes so no one else is disturbed!

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  14. I seriously could not agree more on your rants. You hit the nail on the head on every one of those and I found myself nodding along in agreement. My coworkers and friends tell me I am weird or OCD because I mentally do spellcheck while on Facebook or while reading their emails. It just bothers me when they do not use proper grammar or at least spell words correctly. I know that my grammar is not perfect, but at least I try ha ha! Also, I am shocked to hear that people leave during Savasana! I love that time because I can relax my body and completely clear my mind of the stresses and to-do list of the day.

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  15. OMG, girl, this is why we are meant to be internet friends. Everything about this post had me literally nodding in agreement. Especially the shavasana comment. I crave those moments and they're so important to me. I think it's so disrespectful when people don't take that time!

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  16. So.many.responses.
    "Whore" - I'm not a fan of that word. Not at all. (Oh my gosh! Now, I'm all punctuation and grammar self-conscious, and I admit to not doing a very good job in the blogger world.) But, back to "whore". Even if a woman is a legal sex worker (because in Australia, there is legalized prostitution), I'm still not a fan of the word "whore". She is a sex worker. Agree or disagree with her line of work. Fine. But, calling her a slanderous-type name for nasty reasons is still uncalled for in my book.
    When I used to yoga, I hated when people left early. Those final moments were key to the overall relaxation and centering experience for me. Picking up a mat and shuffling past me used to annoy me, and when I'm relaxing and centering, I don't want any annoyance.

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  17. I've been away from fanciful reading for a while and I'm thrilled that this was the first post I chose to indulge in. Please always be this passionate about everything, it's beautiful.

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  18. i totally think it is rude when people tell you grammar or spelling is not important. i am definitely not good with those things, but like you said.. that's why people like you exist, to clean up an idiot's work lol. and i can't believe people leave at the end of yoga class like that. i never did that, especially because it's supposed to be quiet and resting. i leave body pump early because i need to get in the showers before everyone else if i want to get to work on time, but i'm only missing out on abs, and the teacher is all about it (she says she'd rather us come and get a workout and leave early, vs not coming at all) but it's just abs and it's not resting or supposed to be quiet. also 'enjoying life rather than spending all of it at the gym' i can't believe people say things like that. just because i like taking care of my body doesn't make me a weirdo or freak. it makes me a better person, it helps me sleep. it's definitely a selfish thing to do, but if you have to deal with me, believe me, i'm doing it for you as well lol. i have a bachelorette party this saturday, but i run with my friend every sunday (who is not going to the party) and my other friend is like we're gonna get so drunk and have fun but i'm thinking.. well, i'll have a couple and have a good night but i have to run in the morning. no i don't *have* to, but i want to.
    and i also agree with everything about whores and bitches. i only ever use whore as a joke with my friends.. which sounds bad! but like one of them bailed on a dinner (that we had planned for months) and i said boo you whore. but it's a mean girls quote, so... but i just don't understand the thing right now that seems to be 'lets drag everyone else down to make ourselves feel better' like no, it doesn't work like that. didn't you watch mean girls? calling someone ugly doesn't make you pretty, calling someone fat doesn't make you skinny.
    ALSO. to the tampons. i don't use cartwheel because i forget, but i hate the whole omg must hide my tampon or not talk about my period. hey everyone should have gone to high school science (or middle school here, i don't know) and we all know how our bodies work, so what? you want me to pretend i don't have a period? grow up.
    um.. k then. have a good day!

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  19. Savasana is my favorite part! Seriously, 5 minutes where I'm allowed to do nothing but lay here and be quiet? How could you skip out on that!??!

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  20. BIG SLOW CLAP FOR THIS WHOLE POST! I am one of those people who don't grasp all the rules of grammar so I love people like you. Don't get me wrong, I'm super itimidated because I feel as though my writing sounds so childish to the grammar queens, but I respect and in some ways envy the ease in which you grasp the rules of our language. Can you send me a cheat sheet ;)!

    I love grownup naptime, it is seriously the best part of my practice, haha. I don't think I've ever left it early, unless it was due to a bodily need. I'm a huge workout fanatic and find it so weird that people who DON'T enjoy working out like to shame us fanatics. But, whatever, I'm taking care of my body and you aren't, your words don't hurt me.

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  21. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!!!! Amen, sista!

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  22. Excellent list {seriously.. you're a great list-maker ;) bu I knew this already} I never understood how people can leave during Savasana. It's THE best. I look forward to it the entire time. And when you were like I have coconut hibiscus massage oil, my inner self was all YES!!! because that stuff smells like heaven.

    And don't get me started on grammar. It truly, madly, soul-deeply bothers me when people purposely don'y spell properly or use ridiculous phrases. Like, "sesh". I'm sorry. Is session to long of a word to say now? "Totes" Are you TOTALLY kidding me?!

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