The Late Autumn Lately

I've been thinking a lot about what I think we mean when we say things like "I can't believe the year is almost over" or "I can't believe it's almost 2017 already." I haven't come up with anything definitive, FYI—just thought circles.

It's like, I can't believe 2009 feels like such a recent time but it's actually the better part of a decade behind us. And also, it's hard to believe how much has happened, been documented, been felt and experienced over the past 11 months. I can think back to January 1 this year and it feels like only yesterday, but I can think also about how many high highs and low lows have happened since then—how is 11 months enough time for all that to have happened in? And also, it's hard to think about how this year is almost at its close and I haven't done much in the way of getting to where I want to go.

I can't say, of course, that this year has been a wash. It's the year I finally earned my RYT-200 teaching certificate and became a yoga teacher—something I've literally been talking about since college. It's the year I met David. It's the year I fell completely apart and started to pick the pieces back up, forming a new picture of life along the way.

It makes me think of a quote told to me by Steph during one of my particularly steep valleys this year: "There are years that ask questions, and years that answer. We truly need both because that's what life is." (Zora Neale Hurston)

That's what life is: a collection of questions and answers. A collection of daily movements and happenings, of laughs and tears, of hugs and fights, of highs and lows. Of moments at the breakfast table and glances across dinner plates. Of alarm clocks and bus schedules and train tickets and doctor's appointments. A collection of little things and big things, and big things that make little things seem so little and little things that show us just how big the big things are.

Sometimes the mundane things that make up the everyday aren't interesting or noteworthy at all, the "life lately" updates and the "currently" verbs. But I have a thought: They can be the things that stabilize, that help us keep equilibrium when balancing on one hand while juggling knives. Some of them stay constant because, hopefully through all our ups and downs, there are some parts of us that stay constant: things like how we laugh and love and where we find comfort.
Lately, I'm...

burning | Flannel and Marshmallow Fireside

writing | cover letters, still or again; job applications; christmas cards; love notes

reading | the Harry Potter series on audiobook, and not much in physical book form

eating | soup, pretty much daily, and candy in between... it's the most wonderful time of the year?

listening to | the new John Mayer and similar, slow strummy sounds

planning | to plan. I am wary of making plans for outcomes that haven't been reached yet, but I can't help but fantasize about new job things, new apartment things, possible vacation things...

watching | Gilmore girls: A Year in the Life. I loved it, and I'm kind of weirded out by the people absolutely freaking out about how much they hated it and how depressed it made them. But maybe that's just me

drinking | red wine and hot apple cider

running | a few miles, a few days a week. A big training cycle is scheduled to start in a couple weeks, and while I'm looking forward to it, I know it's going to be an intense couple of months. I am trying to maintain a base fitness level but not burn out before I begin the long road to a second 26.2

There's not much notable about life lately, other than maybe this: it's going on. So many times this year I thought the sky was about to fall, the world was caving in, I didn't know how I would make it through. But the fact that I'm sitting here watching Gilmore Girls with a Flannel candle burning on the coffee table and a glass of red wine sitting next to me is proof that life continues to move forward, or at least continues to beat on, even in the years that seem to ask more questions than they give answers.

Linking up with Kristen.

Comments

  1. I love that quote about life - it's so true. this year was a challenging one for you but you made it and you're that much stronger for it! xoxox

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  2. I really love that quote. I wasn't depressed by the ending of GG. I mean I cried a lot while watching it but it doesn't take much to make me cry. I was left wanting more until I read an article that kind of tied it all up & made me ok with not getting more to the story.

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  3. Daydreaming about new job things has been taking up a sizeable portion of my mind lately. And on one hand I love that I feel hopeful again because in October was feeling completely defeated. But it's hard to balance hopeful with the possibility of being defeated again. I was watching Oak Island last week and the title of the episode was "Always Forward" and I've been mulling that over in my mind a lot lately. It's impossible to go back in time which means the only options are doing nothing or keep moving forward, even when you're not quite sure where forward is, as long as we keep going we'll get there.

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  4. I think the little things are what ground us in good times and in bad. That's why I fear losing sight of them, and I fear when others lose sight of them.

    I think about time and its passage a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It's a subject that intrigues me.

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  5. I think years like the one you had are the ones that define you the most. They test everything about who you are and provide a grounding when times get worse and when they get better. They become a cornerstone of your life. And it is important to remember and highlight the seemingly mundane because, in reality, that's life. Appreciating the rote and routine is equally as important as appreciating the extraordinary.

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  6. That's a wonderful quote. I feel like this has been a really rough year for people, myself included. It's crazy how recent and yet far away certain things seen, from the beginning of the year to years ago. I still think the 90's just happened. It's crazy!

    -lauren

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  7. That is the most perfect quote about life because it is so true!!! I want to watch Gilmore Girls from the beginning before I watch the revival. I missed a lot of the episodes when it first aired. Flannel and Marshmallow Fireside are my top two favorite winter scents too!

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  8. What a lovely post - I don't think enough people realize how much our past affects our present which directs our future. They seem to focus on how quickly time is passing and don't realize they are missing out by not being in the moment. I do love that quote - thank you for sharing it!

    Gilmore Girls - I didn't catch it when it was on regular TV so I started watching it with my daughter over the summer. She was able to finish all the regular seasons but I would just catch it here and there -- but I did try watching A Year in the Life with her (really only saw Winter and Fall). I'm definitely going to have to go back to season 1/episode 1, now that I know how it all ends.

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  9. i love everything you said about time and life. i used to have a real problem (well, 'problem') not appreciating the small things and always looking forward to big things or focusing on those things, and it wasn't until i thought i'd lose them or i started really paying attention, but the little things really are just as important and as corny as it sounds, the little things are what make up your life.. the big things are great and fun but depending on your definition of big, are few and far between. so you should really love the little things.
    so i have been kind of absent on the internet so i haven't read a lot of people's feelings about GG. I loved it but was slightly disappointed by some things.. but in no way shape or form did I hate it. Oh no. it made my heart swell from happiness.

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  10. This has been a WEIRD year. I don't think I've ever had a year that's had such highs and lows, such polar opposites, and has gone so slowly and quickly all at once. I have heard that quote before, or at least some version of it, and I do love it and absolutely believe it. The little things are just as important as the big things and, honestly, I'm reading to start collecting more of the little things!
    (Also I didn't really like Gilmore Girls and I did think it was kind of depressing. I'll see myself out.)

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  11. I literally fell in love a little with that quote, it's on point! I just finished Gilmore Girls and I loved all four episodes so much! I even started the original over!

    xoxo Lex // LexMeetsWorld

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  14. That life quote is so spot on. I really enjoyed Gilmore Girls too and can't understand the people who are absolutely shattered about how it was done. People are crazy! Haha. That candle you're burning sounds absolutely freakin' incredible and now I need it. Putting it on my list to pick up while I'm home! <3

    Also, where are you listening to HP audiobooks from?! I have Scribd and they aren't on there (or I'm a terrible searcher, haha).

    PS: Sorry for the multiple comments -- my computer decided to get all crazy on me!

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  15. Oh man I love, love LOVE that quote (And Steph!) - it may end up on my blog in the near future :) Oddly enough I wrote a post around this time last year called "The Year of Nothing" basically declaring 2015 the most 'meh' yeah ever. Well, happy now, Allison?? 2016 was anything but 'meh' and NOT in a good way. Here's to hoping that 2017 is a year full of GOOD somethings! XO

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  16. I feel like I'm racing through blogs, trying to catch up because I've fallen a few days behind. So, I read your post. Then, I read it again because so much of it are things that I need to hear. As you know, I'm about to be facing some major changes in the employment area of my life. I think of some of the struggles that you've faced, but I see so many of your accomplishments too. I am certain that you are an inspirational yoga teacher, and if I lived near you, you would be my motivation to get my butt back into a yoga studio. The perspectives that you share are almost always things that I need to read and think over. Thank you for that.

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  17. I was watching a movie and thought it looked SO dated, and looked and it was from 2010, and at first I was like that's not even that long ago... but really that's already 6 years ago, it was a weird realization, but I love the quote you mentioned. Love your planning to plan and soup & candy sounds like a good rotation to me, haha:)

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  18. I was looking through my smelly things this weekend and noticed that I had marshmallow fireside wallflowers. I had forgotten. ALL THE MARSHMALLOW!!!!!!!
    I lit up the mistletoe candle instead of the marshmallow, but only for that Christmas spirit. It's delayed gratification since the mistletoe is almost done and I have several marshmallow on the ready.

    I'm grateful someone understand my obsession.

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  19. "There's not much notable about life lately, other than maybe this: it's going on."

    That right there is pretty much any blog post I'd be writing right now.

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  20. Going to be following your blog! Have been looking for some like you for a while.

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